I've been thinking recently about duty to family and friends. How far does the law of charity extend? How much are you bound to place them before yourself? When do you have a responsibility to yourself that comes before your responsibility to them? I'll think about it for a while, perhaps ask someone I respect and come to a clear opinion of how things work. Then I'll talk to my family, or talk to friends who are wondering about many of the same things and all of my nicely ordered opinions become all disheveled.
There must be a point at which we are no longer immediately bound to our parents, and this in all likelihood varies according to situation. It makes sense that this transition point would be when we reach achieve the ability to support ourselves. Talking to a friend about this earlier, she pointed out that we actually have a responsibility to prepare for our vocation, whether it be the married life or a religious vocation. This is not possible if you are feel that you are "stuck" supporting your family or "fixing" their problems.
With friends the questions become a little different. Simply washing your hands of them with the attitude of "they are grown-up and ought to take care of themselves" seems to me reminiscent of Cain's question of "Am I my brother's keeper?" And while the tie between friends is no as strong as that between family, charity demands something...the questions is what? With family, the question is easy in one respect, it becomes a matter of how much and for how long. With friends however, it's harder, because I don't know what it is I have to do anymore. When do I tell them that they are on the road to possibly screwing up their lives? That what they are doing is leading them away from the Church? My first instinct is to play the big sister and just tell them what they are doing wrong and what they need to do to fix it. But this does not work for the majority of people, and will most likely even make the entire situation worse. My next reaction (which also happens to be my current position on many things), just letting whatever it is go while still being there for them to seek out for letting off steam or sympathy or whatever, doesn't seem right either. I just don't know anymore (I'm not sure I ever did...) and I feel like I am wandering around in the dark with my hands out in front of me to ward off the worst of the stumbling blocks...
But then I suppose that is life...